[unabashedly uncorked: your daily dose of EPH]

To the Ghosts of My Boyfriends Past,

Wait- isn’t this a little strange? Fear not, dear readers, as I promise this will be good. 

[and when I mentioned ‘the ones without names’ that would be in reference to this post]

To my high-school sweetheart [if I can even call him that]: thank you for teaching me that I’m not destined to spend the rest of my life as the wife of a hunter, fisherman or game-keeper. While Blake does own one single solitary pair of camo shorts, I’m just fine with the fact that he doesn’t don army fatigues and climb onto [into?] a tree stand in the woods at the crack of dawn every Saturday morning to sit in silence and stalk innocent pray.

[closes book on that chapter]

And my college boyfriend: Yeah, the one that had the occasional illicit flings with other ladies who weren’t me. I won’t even go there…

And the boyfriend when I took my first leap into the professional world: while Green Acres was an amusing television show, it’s not one that I care to lead IRL. Overalls and softball games are not a good look for me. Thank you for realizing that what we had would never work… and for letting me go.

And- but of course- to the few others sprinkled in here and there but that commanded so little of my time that I can’t refer to you in any other term than my “flavor of the week”: thanks for teaching me that a phone call on ‘your terms’, a date over Taco Bell, and sleeping outside my [locked] bedroom door in a drunken stupor isn’t acceptable behavior.

But- most importantly- thank you all so, so much for teaching me what’s worth fighting for. That when you find “it” [real, true, everlasting love] you should hold on with all your might. That my prince charming might leave the kitchen cabinets opened from time to time but that he has so many other qualities that I love beyond measure…

Thank you all for teaching me what true love does [and doesn’t] look like.

EWPH